Coochy Coochy Coup
An Expose' on Bikini Waxing and the Plight of the Uninsured Glamorous Woman
by Danielle Boiardi
Recently, I was feeling like I needed a little glamour before leaving for a vacation to visit friends. So I called my friend “Amelia” to have her book me for a bikini wax at the spa where she works. I had never had a bikini wax before, and frankly was always turned off to the whole idea of waxing after seeing a friend of mine wax her father's back on the living room floor of our apartment. I guess I thought a bikini wax would make me feel pampered, taken care of, and yes, a little Hollywood. Despite the relaxing, posh atmosphere of this chic upscale town spa, the waxing experience was anything but pampering and glamorous. Truthfully, it was awkward, excruciating, and a rather ridiculous ritual. Believe it or not, women have been manicuring their southern states since around 1500 AD. “The American” leaves you with a basic trim of the bikini line, “The French” leaves you with just a landing strip- for brave girls with sight- challenged partners, and “The Brazilian”, or “Playboy” wax takes it all off as the name suggests. As I didn't give any direction to my friend, who recently became an estetician, I ended up with a landing strip plus a bit. I will also tell you that my poor coochy underwent a very painful experience both during the waxing, and for four days after. I did feel more “trim” in my bathing suit, but I also felt really irritated, self- conscious, and stupid. I was told that the first time wax will be the most painful, and then they hurt less if done regularly. If you haven't ever had one, you can check out some crazy videos on Youtube that sneak -peak the vibe of this trend.
The experience and my discomfort after seeking out what I thought would make me feel glamorous, got me thinking that deep down, I don't feel very “taken care of” these days. We pay an absurd amount of attention to the details of appearance. Waxing has been popular in Brazil and Europe for ages, and is now more mainstream than ever here in the U.S. . But it's somehow more acceptable to me to live in a country that's hyper-focused on beauty and appearance when you feel that society firstly places value on your inner health. France and Brazil both have national health care, while we still do not. It seems it could finally be on the horizon, but for an ever increasing number of us, it can't happen soon enough. I work for myself, and finally bought into a private plan after being uninsured for over six years. The small business I contracted with didn't provide insurance despite the fact that myself and my co-workers worked full time hours, and that their business was quite financially successful. Ironically, their business was under the radar enough being in a Tribeca basement, that they also didn't feel they had to "cash up" to provide their artisans with proper ventilation or regular chemical disposal (but that's a whole other tale). I stayed working there at least partly because it afforded me the money to pay for my own health insurance, but because I couldn't afford to live in New york City, I bunked three or four nights weekly with my 97 year- old Nana in her one bedroom apartment in New Jersey. Yes, this was a totally crazy way to live week to week, but it at least allowed me to hold a decent paying job. I eventually realized that my job was presenting actual health problems and greater risks overall to my physical and mental health, than leaving, and not having the income to afford to be part of the now elite class of the insured.
I haven't had health insurance for five months since having to cancel my plan. I will mention that I practically needed a part time secretary to get them to pay on my claims anyway. Working for myself, I make too much to get subsidized health insurance and yet too little to afford a decent plan where I live. My friend “Amelia”, the estetician, doesn't have insurance either. She used to work three jobs to support herself and still made little enough to get Medicaid. But after she worked hard to get schooling to have a new career, she started making just slightly more money so that the state of New York dropped her Medicaid. Only now, she still doesn't make near enough to pay for a private plan on her own. She ironically called me the week after my plebian wax, worried that she had a serious bladder infection but didn't have the money to go see a doctor, and likely pay a month's salary for exams. Besides doing waxing, “Amelia” gives very personal, doting facials and skin care advice to women who, for the most part don't have our money struggles ( Attention: conservatives/ national health care enemies-We both have college educations and work full time jobs and still can't afford to be insured!) and in a moment when she realized she needed serious medical care, it was out of her reach. I could hear desperation in her voice and imagine she felt like a degraded, second class citizen. So many of us can't even find the luxury time to feel pissed off about what's going on in this country because we're so busy just trying to get by.
Yes, we are a pretty nation. Pretty messed up. There is no priority for health, dignity or basic rights of people in this country. Those politicians and their fearful, misinformed flock who work against the progress of pro-national health care reform should have their heads hot waxed.
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